Forsyth county schools opening

North is blanketing the eastern United States with harmful air, as high winds take the plumes over the border. At the current pace, government officials have said that Canada is on track to experience the worst wildfire season in its recorded history, with 9.4M acres already burned (or around 15x the 10-year average). Critical infrastructure like telecommunication and high voltage power lines are on watch, while authorities have warned that everyone, especially vulnerable people, should stay inside as much as possible.
Atlantic Seaboard: Wildfires out in Canada's western provinces usually impact oil and gas production, but the blazes in the East have forced mining firms like Wallbridge (OTCQX:WLBMF), Osisko (OTCPK:OBNNF) and Patriot Battery Metals (OTCQX:PMETF) to suspend operations. It's also derailing activity down the U.S. East Coast, in areas such as New York, which recorded the worst air quality of any city in the world on Wednesday. The polluted haze even halted flights at LaGuardia, postponed MLB games and Broadway shows, altered school schedules, and prompted companies like Google (GOOG, GOOGL) to issue work-from-home orders.
"We have already deployed over 600 U.S. firefighters and personnel, as well as equipment like water bombers to help Canada battle the fires," Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said at a briefing. "We encourage everyone in the impacted areas to listen to their state and local officials. Check in on your neighbors, check in on your friends and your family. Take precautions, especially if you have health conditions."
Outlook: The situation may put a spotlight on climate investing, though others say the bigger problem has to do with forest management. "In 2022, global investment in energy-transition products and services, such as renewable energy, electric vehicles, energy efficiency, and hydrogen, reached a record $1.1T, a 31% increase from the prior year," AllianceBernstein wrote in SA article Homing In On Quality In Climate Investing Strategies. With regards to the current wildfire situation, smoke and unhealthy air quality are expected to be present in the Northeast through the weekend - until wind patterns shift or the weather changes. (3 comments)
The Fed is watching
It's not so easy to shift back to easy monetary policy, or to at least put things on pause. The Bank of Canada unexpectedly raised its key policy rate by 25 basis points to 4.75% on Wednesday, after holding it steady for two straight meetings, as underlying inflation remained "stubbornly high." Amid signals that rate hiking cycles likely are not ready to end, gold futures sank to their lowest levels since March, with U.S. Treasury yields settling at their highest point of the month. Investors are also watching the Treasury's next move to refill its account, with a series of auctions set for today, which has been said could lead to a "potent liquidity squeeze." (11 comments)
Commercial warning
More bank difficulties could lie ahead, according to Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, who cautioned that lenders may feel pressure from the weakening commercial real estate market. "Demand for office space since we've seen such a big change in attitudes toward remote work has changed and especially in an environment of higher interest rates," she declared. However, Yellen believes banks should be able to handle the pressure despite near-term pain, adding that stress tests show they have enough capital to weather any commercial property fallout. Earlier, Berkshire Hathaway (BRK.A, BRK.B) Vice Chairman Charlie Munger sounded the alarm on the sector, given banks' vast portfolios of "bad" commercial property loans. (7 comments)
AI snapshot
Citadel CEO Ken Griffin believes generative AI will be transformative one day, but the hype around the technology's near-term implications is overblown. Echoing the opinion is billionaire investor Stan Druckenmiller, who plans to own Nvidia (NVDA) for years given its AI outlook. "I do believe, unlike crypto, AI is real. It could be as transformative as the internet," he told the Bloomberg Invest conference. Goldman Sachs also estimates that widespread AI adoption will boost companies' productivity by 1.5 percentage points over the next 10 years. (78 comments)
Today's Markets
In Asia, Japan -0.9%. Hong Kong +0.3%. China +0.5%. India -0.5%. In Europe, at midday, London flat. Paris +0.4%. Frankfurt +0.3%. Futures at 7:00, Dow -0.03%. S&P +0.1%. Nasdaq +0.1%. Crude +0.7% to $73.07. Gold +0.2% to $1961.80. Bitcoin -0.5% to $26,450. Ten-year Treasury Yield +3 bps to 3.81%.
Today's Economic Calendar
8:30 Initial Jobless Claims 10:00 Wholesale Inventories (Preliminary) 10:30 EIA Natural Gas Inventory 4:30 PM Fed Balance Sheet
Companies reporting earnings today »
What else is happening...
CNN chief Chris Licht ousted after growing discord at news network.
Shares of Icahn Enterprises (IEP) soar, gain most in more than a month.
Restaurant stocks could get jolted by Supreme Court's student loan ruling.
GameStop (GME) stock slides after firing CEO, naming Ryan Cohen as chairman.
Coinbase (COIN) willing to take its fight with SEC to the Supreme Court, counsel says.
Affirm Holdings (AFRM) surges after Amazon (AMZN) Pay adds Adaptive Checkout.
Microsoft (MSFT) plans to offer OpenAI GPT models to U.S. federal agencies.
Google (GOOG), Salesforce (CRM) move to lure remote staff back to office.
Spirit Aero (SPR) jumps amid speculation regarding activist involvement.
Shares of Tesla (TSLA) hit yearly high in strong day for EV stocks.

I reckon the best way to find work is to follow your passion. Sure, we all need money to get by, but what’s the point in wasting your time on something you hate? We all know that money can’t buy happiness. It’s not just about having a cool car and tasty food every day. There are plenty of rich and famous folks who’ve struggled with addiction and even taken their own lives. That’s why I believe happiness is more about how you live each day rather than how much money you have in the bank. And let’s be real, if you’re good at what you do, the money will come eventually.
​

Follow your passion, whether it’s engineering or art

​
A true pro is someone who’s passionate about their work, no matter what it is. I’ve always been into mechanical engineering ever since I was old enough to know what it was. So, I decided to pursue it as my life’s work. I hope my experience can help others who are considering a mechanical engineering major, just like I was not long ago.

Best Colleges for Mechanical Engineering in Louisiana: Conditions to Apply

Look, I don’t wanna talk about things I don’t really know about, so let me tell you a bit about schools in Louisiana, okay? If you’re not from the Pelican State, don’t worry, you can still stick around and read this — you might pick up some generally useful tips (By the way, did you know that Louisiana is the only state in the U.S. that doesn’t have counties?). I haven’t done any research, but I believe that the requirements for applying to schools that open career paths for mechanical engineers are roughly the same in all states.
When I turned 18 and got my high school diploma, it was enough for me to get into mechanics school. According to the internet, state-issued GEDs are also acceptable, and I see no reason not to believe that. Some schools may have additional or different requirements, and as much as I hate making generalizations, let me break down those demands in detail for you.

Mechanical Engineer Degree Requirements: What You Should Know to Get Enrolled

So, what else do you need besides a high school diploma and being 18 to get into a mechanics school? Let’s take a look at some of the schools in Louisiana.

• Central Louisiana Technical Community College is one of those places that want you to pass the ACCUPLACER test to make sure you can read, write, and do math. But here’s the catch: it costs between $10 and $50 (I took this from the school’s official site, where else?).
• On the other hand, Delgado Community College is totally chill, and you don’t even need a high school transcript or GED/HiSET equivalency. And if you’re not sure what those are, don’t worry, I had to Google it too.
• Then there’s South Louisiana Community College, which can offer a mechanical engineering degree but does not have any additional requirements.

So, depending on the school you choose, you may or may not have to do a little extra work. I’ve made my shortlist of three schools and want to share it with you.

Community Colleges for the Start of Mechanical Engineering Career: Louisiana Edition

I didn’t see a problem with heading out to another town to get my mechanic degree, so I checked out schools from different parts of Louisiana.

Sowela Technical Community College

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByOWp8ApU1g
Sowela Technical College is located in Lake Charles, and it’s a small, cozy school that boasts a 100% acceptance rate (which I’m sure is a concern for many of us, right?). Their campus looks pretty impressive and modern, at least based on the pictures. Along with a high school diploma, they require the SOWELA Placement Test, which could set you back around 20 bucks. However, they also accept ACT or SAT scores instead of their specific exam. The school stresses that their test isn’t too tough, and the results are valid for several years.
According to their official website, graduates from this school can expect to earn a minimum starting salary of $28,700, which I think is pretty attractive. A good salary for the mechanical work I want to do, as I said before.

L.E. Fletcher Technical Community College

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWkHHiWCDN8
This school is located in Schriever and belongs to those pleasant places that don’t require additional tests. All it demands is that you be over 16 years old (not even 18!), provide them with proof of selective service registration, and satisfy the requirements of Louisiana immunization of persons entering school. I think that the last requirement appeared because of the pandemic we’ve been surviving over the last few years. Don’t know about you, but for me, it’s pleasant to know that the school takes care of my health.
L.E. Fletcher Technical Community College also has a 100% acceptance rate but a little bit lower starting salary for graduates, $24,400. But their campus is epic, I must say. It can be a truly good choice if you want to start your path in mechanical engineering fields early.

Northshore Technical Community College

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5KVGxKqr18
Northshore Technical Community College is in Lacombe. The acceptance rate in this school is also a pleasant 100%, and the salary of graduates starts at $21,400. To enroll, you have to complete an application, have proof of immunization, and have proof of selective service status. As you can see, this school does not mention the age of their potential students, but somehow I got the impression that they want people to be under 18. I don’t know why, but I think so. Their campus looks brand new in the pictures. It gave a similar impression to the one at Sowela Technical Community College, and it’s pretty good, I’d say. It’s definitely not the last choice for one who’s looking for colleges for mechanical engineering, as I was.

Conclusion for Your Encouragement

To be honest, I was thinking a lot about this mechanical engineering career. It seemed pretty appealing to me, but I also wondered if I really needed to go to school for it. I mean, maybe I could just have taken a year off, worked a bit, and figured out what I really wanted. But then I realized that I was just scared of rejection. I mean, so what if I got rejected? I could still take that year off to figure things out.
​

At the end of the day, I knew that mechanical engineering was my jam. It’s one of my biggest passions, and I knew I wanted to spend my time pursuing mechanical engineering career paths. So I took those extra tests (not gonna lie, they were a piece of cake), and I got into my top choice school!

​
Sorry, I’m not gonna spill the beans on which one it was, since gotta keep some mystery going. I just hope my experience can help you make the right choice for yourself.

My school has a club application process for new events like DECA, but applications for a DECA club have already been turned down in the past for being too similar to FBLA. Are there big reasons for why the two are different or is it a warranted reason.
(I'm aware that many schools have both DECA and FBLA)

Looking for things to do with my 8 year old godson in IC/Coralville/NL now that he’s out of school. He has lots of energy and loves sports/being outdoors, but open to any and all suggestions!

I met my girlfriend about 7 months ago while visiting family in my home city. We lived far apart but we manage to develop a relatively strong relationship. At first, she was open to moving to my city but later changed her mind. She started bugging me instead to moving back to her city since I work remotely. She would cry about it and made me feel like she could not spend two weeks without seeing me. We visited each other twice per month and usually stay with each other for about a week each visit.
I had a really nice downtown apartment in austin, fully furnished, clean and modern. I make good money (140k+) and tbh, I was very very comfortable living alone. But I liked her enough to consider moving in with her. So, I sold my furniture (most of which I bought less than a year ago) and drove my car 1000 miles to be with her. I had told her before moving in my biggest fear is that I may not be comfortable since I will feel like the place is not truly mine. She promised that it’s my home too and she wants me to see it as that. But now idk how I feel about this decision.
I’ll list a few of the issues here:

1. She gets mad if I forget to return the shower head to the position she prefers (takes less than 3 secs to change)
   
2. The shower curtain has to always be closed, if I forget she is mad.
   
3. She is often moody and depressed and is mean to me for absolutely no reason. If I touch anything of hers and forget to place it back to the right spot, she is mad.
   
4. She is extremely selfish with her food. Even things I pay for. She got mad the other day because I ate one flat wing out of 5. She said I should have eaten a drum because I know she prefers the flats. Mind you I paid for the food and she had 5 flats, 5 drums.
   
5. She barely respects my sleep. She has two bigs dogs and she will bring them in the room at 6 am and they’ll jump on me and wake me up. I try to tell her to not do that but she won’t listen because she is in love with the dogs and she won’t change a thing.
   
6. I have also been picking up most of the bills. And I feel like that is the main reason she wanted me to move in so badly. Looking back, she is a teacher and wasn’t going to get paid for two months of the summer break. I see why she wanted me to move in so badly before the end of the school year.
   
7. Meanwhile the sex has completely disappeared. When I try, I get pushed away.
   
8. She expects me to be in control of everything. The other day she told me she wanted to do groceries. I was working i told her her we can go after work. On our way to the grocery store, she became extremely moody. When I asked her what was wrong, she said she is annoyed because I don’t tell her what the plan is. When I asked her what she means by plan, she said I didn’t tell her what I wanted to buy or cook this week. She likes to have a plan as to what she is gonna get. But she is the one who told me she wanted to do groceries. How is it my fault that you don’t know what to get?
   

Needless to say, I don’t feel at home here. Tbh, I have been slowly putting back my clothes in my suitcase. I haven’t decided to leave yet but I am not sure how to address everything with her. Whenever I tell her something is wrong, she’ll cry and blame me for giving her anxiety.
How can approach the situation?

The Engineer in Training (EIT) exam, also known as the Fundamentals of Engineering (FE) exam, is the first step in your journey of becoming a licensed Professional Engineer (PE) in the United States. If you plan to take the EIT exam, here is what you need to know about the EIT exam dates and how to register for the test.
The EIT exam dates are open year-round, and candidates can take the EIT exam whenever they want. The exceptions are Sundays and public holidays in the US. The candidates who wish to take the FE exam can choose from the following FE exam dates:

Month, 2023	Availability (\Excluding Public Holidays)*
January	Monday - Saturday
February	Monday - Saturday
March	Monday - Saturday
April	Monday - Saturday
May	Monday - Saturday
June	Monday - Saturday
July	Monday - Saturday
August	Monday - Saturday
September	Monday - Saturday
October	Monday - Saturday
November	Monday - Saturday
December	Monday - Saturday

When choosing your desired EIT exam date, ensure that the exam date does not interfere with any personal or professional obligations.
Steps to Register for the EIT Exam

1. To register for the FE exam, you must create a MyNCEES account.
   
2. Once you have created an account, log in to MyNCEES and click on the "Exams" icon on the left-hand-side panel
   
3. Next, click the "Register for an Exam" option under the "Active Exam Registrations" section.
   
4. Fill out the Exam Registration Prerequisites, such as contact information and exam information, and review the information.
   
5. Select the "Fundamentals of Engineering" tab and then choose the specific FE exam you want to take
   
6. Select the state board where you want to appear for the EIT exam.
   
7. Enter your payment details and pay the EIT exam fees. The fee for the EIT exam varies state-wise and can range from $175 to $300.
   
8. Select a convenient Pearson VUE test center location and choose your preferred EIT exam date.
   
9. After you register, you will receive a confirmation email with details about the exam, including the exam date, time, and location.
   

After you have taken the EIT exam, you will receive your results within 7-10 days. If you pass the exam, you will receive an EIT certification. If you fail the exam, you can retake the test during the next testing window. The FE exam schedule is divided into four windows in a year:
· January - March
· April - June
· July - September
· October - December
You can attempt the FE exam once every testing window but not more than three times in 12 months.
However, enrolling in a professional FE exam review course can help you pass the test on your first attempt. The School of PE offers comprehensive FE exam review courses to help candidates pass the FE exam. Students from the School of PE pass their exams at a much higher rate than the national average.
In conclusion, passing the EIT exam is essential for engineers who want to secure their PE license. It is vital to choose the EIT exam dates that work best for your schedule and register as early as possible.

Hello everyone I am a jiu-jitsu black belt, just got it about 2 years ago. I decided to open my own Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu school. I left my old school just due to the fact that I didn't like the direction that the school was going. I do not have affiliation with anyone. My question is, do you guys have any recommendations on affiliating with associations? I am a smaller School I've roughly around 30 students at most so I appreciate all the feedback as much as possible thank you

I had a dream where everyone in school turned into weird humanoid food.
It started with a girl drinking water, she suddenly started disappearing and turned into a weird red glue thing - she was cotton candy.
The other guy's head exploded open, that followed with the rest of his body, exploding bit by bit. He was popcorn.
I remember another girl who was ice cream, she looked for the exit, I don't know if she made it.
They kids turned into cookies, some ate themselves some each other.
There was another girl but older who was a cookie, she ate her arm first and then her foot.
Someone said "No one is taking care of the kids"
I turned into a nuttla stick and broke my bones all the time, my hair was very gross. At the beginning I was running around in panic I was afraid the children would eat me.
I remember there was a skip a few years later, all the little kids were gone, they all were eaten.
It was actually not a nightmare, just a bit gory

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══About Kanium══
Kanium is an 18+ old school cool gaming community that focuses on organized teamwork in games and building a strong sense of community. One of the defining and strong principles of Kanium is free speech and an adult environment.
══Community Goals for Diablo IV══
Our goal is to experience all of the content that Diablo IV has to offer. Content like world bosses, dungeons, grinding, nightmare difficulty, seasonal content etc etc. But most importantly, have a place where people can relax, hang out and have fun playing together.
══What else to Expect?══
Besides our choice of mainstain games like Diablo 4 we also play a wide variety of other games and we also hold weekly events. One evening you might play Diablo 4 and the other evening you might join us for a movie night or killing some bugs in a full lobby of Starship troopers extermination.
Besides that you will also find people often hanging around online in our channels to just socialize and have some banter. Many of our members also know each other in real life and we have several real life get-togethers each year. When we talk about building community we mean it.
══How To Join?══
First off, Kanium is an open gaming community so you can simply join the discord and play with us before deciding on whether or not you want to apply for full membership. (Simply ask a member in our discord on what to do next if interested in full membership)
Discord Link: www.discord.gg/Kanium
Do note we do not care about your skill level or experience, everyone is welcome to join. When you enter the discord read the welcome channel and have a look at the opt-in-roles channel to unlock additional text/voice channels of interest to you.

This will become a weekly Thursday post for question/answers regarding properties in Austin or surrounding areas. Feel free to use this post to:

• Ask where to live
• What neighborhood is right for you
• Advice on apartments / asking about specific apartment reviews
• General thoughts/views on the housing market
• Questions about real estate prices/going up/general home buying advice
• Advice on realtors
• General property questions rants/complaints about pricing
• "Is this neighborhood safe" questions / crime related questions
• Tax / Mortgage related questions
• Questions on developments / bidding processes
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Over the last year, we have seen a major uptick in prices in the area, along with a steady flow of new people coming into Austin. Use this weekly post to ask your questions, try to get advice, etc on an upcoming move or questions about real estate in Austin.
Many apartment questions have always been removed on here, and we always suggest people to contact an apartment locator. Those rules still stand. But, you are welcome to ask those questions on here if you still feel the need for it.
Along with that, any new open ended question on Austin properties and real estate will be removed and asked to move to here (based on mod discretion). Many of the questions being asked have been asked many times before, which is why we would rather compile these posts into one place for people to ask and get their answers.
If you are having issues as a tenant in Austin, we highly recommend reaching out to the Austin Tenants Council here: https://www.housing-rights.org/. They may be able to help you resolve issues related to renting property in Austin.
We also recommend searching older "Weekly Real Estate" posts as well, to find answers on previous week's questions.
As always, there is a whole section on moving to Austin in our FAQ page:
https://www.reddit.com/Austin/wiki/movingtoaustin

Today, we're diving into a chilling chapter of American history that shook a small town to its core. Grab a seat and buckle up because we're about to explore the haunting events surrounding the 1998 Westside Middle School shooting and how one of the perpetrators remains the only living American mass school shooter who is not incarcerated.
Before I get into this, I have a small favour to ask. This write up took a lot of time to research and is actually a script for my latest video. I was told by a someone to post it on reddit, and I would hugely appreciate it if you watched the video version instead. If you do not want to, or prefer reading, if you would you just like the video instead, so I know that people are enjoying my content. (Channel link is in bio) Okay, that is enough talk for now. Time to get right into it.
March 24, 1998, Jonesboro, Arkansas. A sleepy town nestled in the heart of the Bible Belt, known for its close-knit community and traditional values. But on that fateful day, darkness pierced the tranquillity, leaving an indelible mark on the town's history. Two young individuals, 13-year-old Mitchell Johnson and 11-year-old Andrew Golden, armed themselves and set in motion a plan that would unleash unimaginable horror. Their actions would forever alter the lives of those in their path. As the sun set on that grim night, a plan fuelled by darkness and malice was set into motion. Andrew Golden and Mitchell Johnson, armed with a disturbing arsenal of stolen weapons, loaded their mother's Dodge Caravan with camping supplies, snacks, and a chilling stash of firepower.
On the morning of March 24, 1998, the stage was set for the unimaginable. Deliberately missing their bus, the boys arrived late at Westside Middle School, concealed within the van. Moments later, chaos was unleashed. Pulling the fire alarm during fifth period, Andrew Golden ignited panic throughout the school. While his accomplice, Mitchell Johnson, seized the opportunity and disappeared into the nearby woods with the stolen weapons. As students and teachers streamed out of the school, confusion reigned. The initial moments were fraught with disbelief and uncertainty. The sound of gunfire pierced the air, shattering the innocence of that ordinary day. The horror unfolded as the boys opened fire on their unsuspecting classmates and educators. Reports emerged of desperate cries for help, mingling with the echoes of gunshots.
Amidst the chaos, acts of courage and selflessness emerged. Teacher Shannon Wright fearlessly shielded a wounded student with her own body, embodying the spirit of protection and sacrifice. Other students bravely guided their injured peers back inside the school's gymnasium, even as bullets ricocheted off the walls and bricks around them. Tragically, the lives of four students and one heroic teacher were senselessly cut short. Shannon Wright, Stephanie Johnson (no relation to Mitchell Johnson), Natalie Brooks, Paige Ann Herring, and Brittney Varner—each name a stark reminder of the human toll exacted by this heinous act. In the wake of the carnage, as the wounded fought for survival, the authorities moved swiftly.
Within a mere ten minutes, the police apprehended Golden and Johnson, preventing their escape and securing the van loaded with chilling evidence. The scale of the devastation became apparent—nine students and one teacher wounded, their lives forever marked by physical and emotional scars. Among them was Tristan McGowan, Andrew Golden's own cousin, a stark reminder of the tangled webs woven by tragedy. As the dust settled on the harrowing events of the Westside Middle School shooting, the legal system sought justice for the lives lost and shattered. Mitchell Johnson and Andrew Golden, among the youngest individuals ever charged with murder in the United States, faced a trial that would determine their fate.
During the trial, Johnson, with a heavy heart, expressed remorse and read a letter of apology to the families of the victims. He claimed that he had not intended to target anyone specifically, offering a glimpse into the complexities of his troubled mind. While awaiting trial, Johnson also penned a letter that revealed his deep sadness and offered prayers for the victims and their families. It conveyed a desire for people to someday know the "real" Mitchell, hinting at the layers of a troubled young soul hidden beneath the surface. Due to their age, Johnson and Golden were tried as juveniles. Found guilty of five counts of murder, they were sentenced to confinement until they reached the age of 21, the maximum sentence allowed by Arkansas law at the time. The severity of their actions prompted public outcry, with many calling for harsher penalties for juvenile offenders. Prosecutors acknowledged that, if not for their age, they would have sought the death penalty. However, the limitations of the law meant that the punishment did not align with the gravity of the crime.
Johnson and Golden were transferred to the Arkansas Juvenile Assessment & Treatment Center (AJATC), the state's most secure juvenile facility. There, they would serve their sentences, awaiting the day when they would be released back into society. August 11, 2005, marked Mitchell Johnson's 21st birthday—the day he was released from the Federal Correctional Institution in Memphis, after spending seven years behind bars. Andrew Golden, too, celebrated his 21st birthday on May 25, 2007, regaining his freedom after serving nine years in prison. Their release stirred debate, reigniting discussions about the appropriate sentencing and rehabilitation of juvenile offenders. The haunting question of whether their confinement truly served justice continues to linger.
Andrew Golden, the perpetrator of a tragic school shooting, lived a secretive life after his release from prison. He applied for a concealed weapon permit under a false name but was denied due to his criminal history. He resided in Missouri and attended college, but his exact whereabouts remain unknown. On July 27, 2019, Andrew Douglas Golden met an untimely demise. As he traveled along U.S. Route 167 in Independence County, Arkansas, a devastating collision occurred. A 2013 Chevrolet Tahoe veered out of its lane, crashing head-on into Golden's 2017 Honda CRV. The collision claimed the lives of both Golden and the driver of the Chevrolet, Daniel Petty of Essex, Missouri. Meanwhile, Golden's wife, another adult, and his son sustained injuries and were transported to hospitals in Little Rock and Batesville. At the time of his tragic death, Golden was residing in Jackson, Missouri, leaving behind a legacy entwined with pain and the profound consequences of his past actions.
Mitchell Johnson, once entangled in the devastating Westside Middle School shooting, found himself mired in legal troubles in the years that followed. A series of incidents painted a troubling picture of a life marred by criminal behavior and addiction. It all began on January 1, 2007, when Johnson was arrested during a routine traffic stop in Fayetteville, Arkansas. The authorities discovered a loaded pistol and 21.2 grams of marijuana in his possession. Johnson, accompanied by the driver Justin Trammell, who himself had a dark past, was taken into custody. Johnson's subsequent legal journey unfolded with twists and turns. He was indicted by a federal grand jury in October 2007 for possessing a firearm while using or addicted to a controlled substance. Despite maintaining his innocence, Johnson was found guilty after a trial in January 2008. However, legal troubles continued to plague him. In a disheartening turn of events, just days after his conviction, Johnson was arrested again, this time for possession of marijuana and suspicion of using a stolen credit card. The pattern of illegal behavior persisted, casting a shadow over any hope of redemption. In September 2008, Johnson faced sentencing for the weapon and drug charges. US District Judge Jimm Larry Hendren expressed disappointment, remarking that Johnson had squandered the opportunity to reform. Johnson received a four-year prison sentence.
However, Johnson's legal woes were far from over. On October 7, 2008, he pleaded guilty to a felony theft charge and misdemeanor possession of marijuana, admitting to stealing a debit card and using it to purchase a meal at a local Burger King. As a result, he received an additional sentence of 12 years. The legal system continued to render judgment upon Johnson. In January 2009, he was sentenced to six more years in prison for charges of theft by receiving and financial identity fraud, stemming from his use of the stolen card. Circuit Judge William Storey expressed hope that this would mark the end of Johnson's criminal path. The combined state sentences amounted to a total of 18 years for Johnson. However, his journey through the justice system was not yet complete. In February 2010, the Arkansas Supreme Court granted Johnson leave to appeal his sentence, asserting that evidence of his juvenile convictions should not have been admitted during the trial.
Ultimately, Johnson served his federal sentence of four years after completing his 18-year state sentence. In July 2015, he was released into the custody of the United States Probation Office for the Southern District of Texas, where he entered a drug rehabilitation program, according to reports. Mitchell Johnson's troubled journey after the Westside Middle School shooting has left an indelible mark on his life and the lives of others. Today, he stands as the only living American mass school shooter who is not incarcerated, a fact that raises profound questions about justice and the complexities of our legal system. After serving his time for the tragic events of 1998, Johnson's life took a dark and troubling turn. His subsequent encounters with the law, including weapon possession, drug charges, theft, and identity fraud, painted a picture of ongoing struggles and repeated run-ins with the justice system.
The fact that Mitchell Johnson remains free, while other perpetrators of similar acts are incarcerated, raises challenging ethical and legal debates. It shines a spotlight on the complexities of rehabilitation, punishment, and society's expectations for justice. The case of Mitchell Johnson serves as a sombre reminder of the lasting impact of mass school shootings. It prompts us to reflect on the profound responsibility we bear as a society to prevent such tragedies and to support those affected by them. The legacy of the Westside Middle School shooting will forever haunt the community and the families affected by it. It serves as a constant reminder that we must remain vigilant in our efforts to foster a safer, more compassionate world.

I (23 F) was asked to be a bridesmaid at a friends (21F) wedding almost 2 years ago, let’s call her Tammy. Tammy and I became friends through work, we were coworker friends but never actually hung out outside of the workplace, so I would never have said we were particularly close. We only worked together for not quite a year too, so I was not even expecting an invite to the wedding let alone asked to be bridesmaid when she told me her partner (22 M) proposed. Tammy explained to me that she didn’t really have any girl friends, and it would be just me and her best friend who would be maid of honour, and although we weren’t particularly close, she said she feels like I’m one of the only people she can be herself around and have decent conversations with, and that she felt we will only grow closer and she’d love to have me in her wedding. After hearing this I agreed to the role because I believed that we would get closer too, and thought it was sweet that she considered me a good enough friend to be in her wedding. At this point I had never met her fiancé, but Tammy began to confide in me whenever they had a fight. At first this was fine with me, as fighting is normal and even healthy sometimes, though it started to get to the point that I would only ever hear from Tammy when she wanted to complain about her fiancé, and they weren’t normal fights either. Tammy explained that she didn’t feel loved by him, that he had explicitly stated that he is not attracted to her, she feels controlled by him and feels she is only still with him because he is all she has known (they had been together since high school). It only got worse every time she contacted me about how he had upset her, he would make comments on her weight, tell her she’s not allowed to go out, completely ripped into her for getting drunk on HER 21st birthday, her own family don’t even like him, and vise versa. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I gently explained to her that I didn’t feel right being a bridesmaid in a wedding that I personally didn’t believe should be happening. I had openly told her (when she asked for 100% honesty) that their relationship was not healthy, and it was not a healthy way to enter a marriage and that his behaviour needed to change and she deserved better. I told her I love her and care for her but I just couldn’t bring myself to stand next to her and publicly show my support for a marriage that in reality I didn’t support at all. They got engaged almost two years ago and are yet to make a single wedding plan because HE thinks it’s too soon for such a commitment (so then why propose was my response), and he shuts her down every time she brings up anything to do with their wedding. It honestly seems like he doesn’t even want the wedding to go ahead. When I told her I couldn’t be her bridesmaid anymore she was nice about it and said she understood, but now the maid of honour is accusing me of being an asshole for not being supportive of my friend when she clearly needs help. I explained that I am always here to help her but being a bridesmaid at a wedding that even Tammy herself is hesitant about is not helpful to Tammy at all. I still offer advice and help whenever I can when Tammy confides in me and I will continue to do so even if the marriage goes ahead, I just feel it would be fake and hypocritical of me to be involved in the wedding itself, but I’ve been told I’m the asshole for this. Am I?

Short version: I think about death every single second of my life. And I see everything through the lens of the short amount of time that I have here. What should I do?
Long Version…
My problem
I can't get death out of my mind. Every single event in my life is disrupted by that thought. When good things happen in my life—I can barely enjoy it. Sometimes, I would start laughing and being happy, and all of a sudden, something would tell me “WHY BOTHER—YOU KNOW THIS IS NOT GOING TO LAST, RIGHT”. I feel pity for others when I see them fully enjoy a moment. I'm always like, it makes no sense for you to be that happy.
Sometimes, I would think back to people that lived hundreds of years ago. And I'd be like, they were probably living as if life was worth it. Now, they are gone—and nobody cares.
I'd look at my wife sleeping—thinking about how much I love her, and all of a sudden I'm reminded that we will die one day. I'd talk to my mom—and I'm sad hearing her laughing because I know she will be gone one day. I'm starting to shut people out of my life, so I don't have to endure the pain of possibly losing them.
The thought hasn't paralyzed me totally because I wake up every day and do the things that I love. I feel like I'm the only person in the world like this. I don't think I'm depressed—since I have a perfectly good explanation for thinking this way. But this is eating me alive.
I only work on personal projects now. I don't work for people because I feel like working for someone and having them dictate my day is like “prostituting” my life. I've come to the realization that people don't have time. Life IS time, and selling my time is the same as selling my life.
Weird benefits of this “condition”
I care—but not as much as I used to. I used to be a people-pleaser. Not so much anymore! I left my last job—because I had a rude boss. I thought to myself, “You're just as mortal as I am”. Why would I have to kiss your butt?
I make the most out of my day. And I cherish my time very much—just because I have that clock ticking in my head.
There's a level of despair I can't reach—because I know if things get REALLY bad, death is always there—and it's the worst that could ever happen.
The problem is, I've had more good days than bad ones lately. So the thought of death has been more a disruptor than a resort.
Background (If that helps diagnose me, haha)

• I'm an introvert
• I'm musical
• Preferred Musical genre: Alternative rock
• Preferred artists (Of Monsters and Men, RYX, Switchfoot)
• People think I'm fun to be around
• People think I'm intelligent (Not the genius type, but a bit above average)
• I speak a few languages

---

• I overthink things (People say that... I just call it thinking)
• Growing up, I'd go to a room—listen to sad music—and cry for no reason. I would even enjoy it at times.
• I'm very observant (I feel it when something is wrong in my surroundings)
• I like dark humor (Oddly enough, I make jokes about death EVERY DAY)
• I grew up religious (Christian)—I even went to Bible School to become a pastor. But these days, I don't even think about an afterlife. And my faith hasn't helped me lately. It's weird because all throughout my teenage years—I didn't have those thoughts. I was more religious back then.
• I grew up in a Third World country. Life isn't so valued where I'm from.
• I went through an earthquake that killed more than 250,000 people in one day.
• My grandmother passed away, and I've not fully overcome
• I have quite a few acquaintances that have passed away

--- Values/politics

• I hate injustices against vulnerable people. I especially despise crimes against women and children.
• I hate hypocrisy
• I like to think I'm open-minded
• I like fairness—and I like to think I'm tolerant
• I hate guns, wars, and everything in between
• I like free speech
• I hate the idea of patriotism. It never made sense to me why I should care for the humans of one country more than others.

Sorry if that was a rant. This is me! What should I do about those thoughts? Please help!!!

This shit is messy, so please dont tell me its messy I already know. I made a whole sock account because I dont want this traced back to me or my actual account that I use on here.
​
So, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, since i was 18. We met in high school, I was a freshman when he was a junior. We were really good friends in high school. His senior year (my sophomore year) - he ended up going to jail for dealing drugs.
Through his mom, I visited him in prison quite a bit when I was still in high school. His mom actually was the one who asked me to start visiting because he would always ask her to bring me. Eventually, I graduated high school, turned 18, he added me to his visitor list and I started visiting him on my own. Through those visits between us, he came out to me and told me he loved me and all that. He at the same time knew his mom was homophobic, so he asked me to keep it a secret. One day he tells his mom, his mom stops talking to him and basically leaves him in prison all on his own. It was a tough couple of months, because I didn't have any money to send him so we couldn't text or anything and i only got to see him when I went up to the prison to visit.
He gets out probably 3/4 months later. I know he told his mom right after parole hearing, and then they make them wait like 3 or 4 months after hearing to get out, so thats why I say 3/4 months. We start actually dating after, and we've been dating ever since. Been 4/5 years atp. Its been pretty good, no complaints so far besides me occasionally getting pissed over small stuff, but thats the prickly/persnickety personality I have, more than him.
​
Recently he's been working with a therapist and a psychiatrist on depression. He has deep deep depression over not having any connection to his family. None of them fuck with him at all. Its extremely sad because he was very close with him and they haven't said a word to him in years.
He started being medicated over the past year or so, because its gotten extremely bad (like, waking me up in the middle of the night from night terrors and crying and making me hold him, sleeping all night and day and missing work, waking up to him crying in the shower in the morning, etc, really bad).
Side effect of the meds he's on - no sex. Sometimes he can get hard, sometimes he cant. He's never really into it at all anymore. If it happens, it feels like he's on Mars and not in bed with me. Its very upsetting, because our sex used to be AMAZING. I mean he used to dick me tf down, all the time, before and after work, the gym, all day between errands or tasks on the weekends, etc. One time he was mowing the lawn, got half way through, came in and wanted to fuck in the shower before he went back out and finished. THATS what I'm used to. Used to have me crying and shit it was so good. I haven't actually had what i would consider "sex" with him in over a year (April 2022). Devastating because I have a very high sex drive. He's been switching between medicines, none of them really seem to address his depression issues no matter how long he's on them, some of them have made him straight up suicidal, so we are still working on it.
After many months of sadness on my end, I have a talk with him about the sex. He ends up telling me just to go get a FWB. The relationship can be temporarily open until figure all his stuff out, and he's okay with that, so long as i dont get "romantic" with anybody and keep all of that for him. I'm 100% okay with that, I would prefer it that way anyway, so I start looking.
I match with this guy. Also went to high school with him. After talking for a bit, he comes over, we're going to fuck. Awesome! I had a crush on this guy in HS too so its really awesome. Tell my bf, hes going to be out of the house anyway, so it all works out.
​
Guy comes over, I'm sucking his dick. My boyfriend comes home unexpected. The way the house is laid out, when you come in you can see part of the couch in the living room. So the first thing he sees coming in is me sucking this guy off (cant imagine that was a nice thing to see).
He slams the door so hard a picture falls off the wall. He comes in screaming. He's coming up to us, so I stand up and try to stand between him and my friend to make sure nothing pops off, not sure how my friend will react. Bf and I are having a shouting match (we used to have those in our early days, so its not new or scary for me, but it can be intense). The guy tries, after putting underwear on lol, to step in between us. I'm not moving, so he pushes me a little bit. I stumble and trip on his shoe, and fall into the TV Stand. the door on the stand is open, so I break the door off as I fall. The part from the door that is not broken off is sharp, and it basically slashes me across my back/hip. I'm sitting there on the floor having a moment on my back because i feel my hip just got cut open basically.
My boyfriend got PISSED after that, he steps up to the dude, he's yelling at him. He's saying "Did you really just fucking push him?" he's saying "No I didn't push him, he tripped, you dont need to be yelling at him or me, you need to calm down." my boyfriend keeps yelling "Dont ever touch him again" louder and louder no matter what the guy says. Eventually the guy yells "JUST CALM DOWN!" at the top of his lungs.
My boyfriend gets quiet, for one second. I think he's calmed down. Then he says, "I'm gonna break your neck" and punches that guy clear across the room. I saw his feet leave the ground from that punch. They are the same height, but my friend is like 6ft 170 lbs, my bf is 6ft and 210+ lbs, muscular as fuck, so he walloped the fuck out of the dude. I dont think my bf has ever been in a fight before this, I dont think any of us were expecting that to happen.
​
I try to get back up, I'm keeping him from walking up on the dude again because I think he might actually murder this guy, his whole neck looks like a dick from the veins popping out and his face is blood red. Its shocking to see him be this upset. I'm yelling at the dude that he needs to get out. Dude scrambles to get rest of his clothes back on, my boyfriend is still yelling. At some point my boyfriend touches my back, it stings like a MF so I say ouch and push his hand off. I hear him yell "is this blood?" then I hear his voice crack "mother fucker is this your blood?", he pulls up my shirt and sees the cut on my hip, he tells me to look at it, its really bad (i probably should have went to the doctor for it, ngl). Then he stops talking, he's completely silent and he looks like he's about to explode. The dude try's to run out of the house, my bf takes a swing, i grab his arm, he misses, he punches the wall and punches a hole clear into the wall, first hit. Its not a true hole, because he punched a stud, but there is a massive dent in the wall that now looks caved in. Guy gets out, luckily without another blow.
​
So its been a day since that happened. My boyfriend has been either crying in the bed or crying on the couch since then. He doesnt watch tv he just drifts in and out of sleep in the dark crying. I have not seen him shower or eat, he hasn't gone to work, he hasn't gone to the gym (he's gone to the gym every day we've been home since he got out of prison so that one is REALLY new) and he will only say "I'm sorry I ruin everything, please dont leave me" when I speak to him. We cant have a real conversation at this point because every time I start one he starts crying and begging me not to leave him. Even if I tell him I'm not going to he talks over me and tells me "But we both know you're going to and I can't handle that" or something along those lines.
​
I talked to my two best friends about this. One of them told me to leave him because one day he will snap and beat tf out of me too and probably kill me because I cant defend myself against that. The other one tells me he's been through alot, and she says he told her a while back that I am the only family he has and that he would "kill for me", so she says I shouldn't leave because she thinks what he did was not really out of disrespect or a lack of discipline but instead because he was afraid.
​
I dont know what to do anymore. I only did this because i wanted a nut man, I havent had a good nut in over a year. I didn't think all of this was going to happen, I really thought he would be okay with it. Its apparent I cannot bring another man around me like that at all while i am with him, the next one he may actually murder. And I own my house, if someone gets murdered here I have to deal with that energy for at least the next 5 years. So the 'open relationship' solution to this shit is done, permanently. I'll never do anything like that ever again.
Any thoughts on this? If you were me, would you leave? Would you stay and just be sexless for the foreseeable future? I feel like i'm so young, I'm really in my sexual prime in terms of drive and appearance, and right now I think I'm setting myself up for a future of frustration. Its really difficult because I love the guy I'm with soooooo much, but after the blind rage I've seen, I cant lie, I'm also kinda scared for myself. Afraid if I do leave him, he might decide to "break my neck" also.
​
I'm sorry to write so fucking much about this. Not sure if anyone will read this far. Im just at my wits end. I feel like I'm going to end up staying because I love him, haven't really lived adult life without him, and call myself "ride or die". But I feel like even if I do stay i'm just going to end up being depressed myself and eventually mad/mean to him over stuff he cant control. Part of me wonders if he needs me to be a friend right now, more than he needs me to be a boyfriend. It doesn't seem like I'm really able to give him anything as a "boyfriend" anymore because he isn't in that space and hasn't been for a while now.
My life is kinda out of control rn as you can tell. Sorry, again. Might post this to some other advice subs I've seen before, not sure yet. Wanted to start here because being gay and in the deep south makes this a bit... unique? Might also delete this after I get a couple of replies, again super embarrassed and sad about this. Please dont be mean to me, if you can help it. I know that he is clinically depressed and theres a better way for me to be handling everything, I'm really trying my best.

Spoilers for the base version of Persona 5, just as a heads up.
So, this would be an AU of Persona 5 where after the final battle, the metaverse still remained. It'd be about 3 or so years after the events of the game, with my character, an OC, attending university in Japan as a foreign student. Things going well with good grades, getting immersed in a country he had always wanted to visit and is finally getting to in a once-in-a-lifetime dream for him thanks to a lucky scholarship. Maybe his dormmates would consist of at least one of the members of the Thieves just to get his presence known to them.
Though things quickly begin going south when a few corrupt school officials start voiding scores for students out of nowhere and even kicking students out of their classes for what appears to be no good reason. For what reason is unknown - xenophobia for the foreign students, nepotism in trying to clear out class seats for family, doesn't really matter - either way, this is brought to the Thieves' attention rather quickly with a few dozen students getting booted from their classes and some even having to just drop out of university due to the whole mess, my character included.
The expected investigating follows, don't know what the time limit would be (maybe "Days before dropping out" or something?) but the Thieves eventually enter the palace of the person responsible for this whole thing and get to their usual sleuthing. My character gets dragged into the metaverse at some point, and surprise surprise, awakens a Persona! Things move forwards from there as expected - big boss fight, the person behind it has a change of heart and all affected students are readmitted and compensated for what happened, and my character winds up joining the Thieves. What can follow is a lot of cute slice of life shenanigans, mainly because I just adore this cast that much that I'd be happy to just do small stuff like that.
So yeah, kind of a lot but I hope you don't mind! I'm a semi-literate to literate player, I *can* play as some of the canon characters but I question my ability to write them well so I'll primarily be playing as my own if that's fine with you. Even if you don't want to play out this prompt I'm happy to just talk shop about the Persona series, as I am itching to also go back and play 4 and 3 (heck maybe the PS1 trilogy, god help me.)
PMs and chats are open, and I hope this catches your eye. If not, still have a wonderful day!

TLDR: Very angry/moody to the point where it's affecting my a lot. No one to talk this with due to bad social skills and language barrier. Need help in a way where no one finds out (no therapy).
I (21M) live in Korea for college but Korean is my second language to English. I can get around speaking Korean mostly without much problem but I'm just more comfortable in English. My family lives here too so that is fine. For the past couple months, the sense of anxiety and anger I had increased substantially to the point where my thinking is not very straight. I'm more prone to anger and feelings of despair, to the point where 70% of my day is just being angry on the inside if I don't distract myself with something (games, music, videos, hobbies, etc.)
I have no one to talk to about this because everyone I know will not want to deal with my problems. Last time I tried that, an entire friend group left me.
I've always had very little social skills and am very scared of other people (usually around my age). While fortunately, I've made a few friends (maybe), most of them who have lived abroad or are very open-minded, I'm always scared that they secretly don't want to be my friend and are only acting nice to me to be nice. I've already sussed out one guy who always says he's busy to me but goes out and hangs out with other people based on other people's posts, so I know that my fears have some basis in truth.
This is worse in school because everyone around me hates me for no reason. Korea is a very competitive society so other people are viewed as competition and not just as people. I have to speak in my non-native language (I'm good at formal talk but not casual speaking) and also Koreans don't really like when you speak English. I know because people bullied me and still hate on me for not being good at Korean. As you can probably guess, I have no friends at school. However that isn't too big of a problem because I don't want to associate with people who hate me anyways.
Because of my worsened mental state, I can't study well and can't things that I know what to do but can't because I get overwhelmed. My grades have taken a dive and I don't have anything else to show for it, causing a death spiral.
I want to get help (no therapy) but I don't want my family to find out or else they're going to get worried and send me to therapy. I know they mean the best but I've received therapy multiple times in the past but that only really helped me be better at masking my problem and not actually letting me get over the problem.
I could try coaching or something like that but I don't want my parents or anyone to find out or be suspicious about it.
Sorry if this is too long, has already been covered, or ranty, I'm desperate and need advice.

Let the kids stay home. Keep the school gym open if some kids have no place to go.
How will children learn anything when adults can’t make basic decisions?

From all the private conversations I’ve had with people on this subreddit, this is my personal take: while it’s crucial to acknowledge that everyone’s journey is unique, it appears that a significant number of individuals in this community base their decision on personal family or social trauma rather than rigorous research on the Quran and Hadith. Traumatic experiences can undoubtedly shape one’s perception and relationship with religion. It happened to me too, and it’s crucial to empathize with those who have gone through such difficulties.
However, it’s important to recognize that personal trauma alone does not provide a comprehensive analysis or evaluation of the truth claims of Islam. Ruling out Islam as a valid religious path based solely on individual experiences or negative social interactions overlooks the rich intellectual and theological traditions that underpin the faith. It’s wiser to approach the exploration of religious truth with an open mind, considering multiple perspectives, engaging in scholarly research, and seeking a balanced understanding of religious texts and teachings. This approach allows for a more nuanced and informed assessment of Islam and its potential as a source of truth and spiritual guidance.
Regarding my personal journey, my Madrasa teachers as a kid, my parents, or anyone who I thought was “preaching” couldn’t bring me closer to Islam. It was quite unexpected that three tabs of acid, left behind by my atheist friend who grew up attending a private Roman Catholic school, would be the catalyst. Trust me, nobody hates or talks more negatively about one’s religion than a Roman Catholic turned atheist. The blasphemy is unmatched, and there are levels to it, which I never knew existed. So please, let this subreddit not become an echo chamber that reinforces your doubts, personal trauma, or vendettas. Instead, use it as a means to engage in thoughtful discussions.
One analogy I found online that I like is viewing the world as one big messed up game show about religion. Statistics show that asking the audience gives you the correct answer about 90% of the time. So, if the question is, “What god is the true God?” you’re likely to get the monotheistic Abrahamic God portrayed in the three major religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam). These religions make up 55.2% of the global population. Despite their differences, they all agree on the existence of one god. The fact that 3.9 billion people out of a global population of 7 billion are able to agree on anything, especially something that requires faith, is mind-blowing. Another aspect that drew me back to Islam is the scripture’s mention of God making a covenant with the people of Israel, who constitute a small percentage of the global and Earth’s population. How could such a small group give rise to two other religions that would spread variations of the same story across the world? It can only be seen as divine, in my opinion.
I hope you all have a wonderful day, and may Allah guide us all. P.S. I’m not advocating for anyone to try LSD by any means; it simply brought back what I can only explain as hope and strengthened my faith . Only God and myself know what I experienced that night, and without a brain, LSD is just a synthetic crystalline compound. It needs a brain to spark its magic and I thank god for using something alot of people would view as bad to bring me back unexpectedly. I totally understand why it’s considered Haram as well. I can see how someone, especially on a higher dose, might view themselves as god or be so mind-blown that they question everything they’ve ever known and slowly go straight down the agnostic or atheist pipeline. I definitely was a victim of that, I would say. There are definitely other realms; they happen to be life, death, and the hereafter and just compost for some people ahahahha. May we all be made whole! Assalamu Alaikum!

I need to add context before I talk about the nightmare holiday. It's a long one because without it, it just kinda won't make sense. I probabaly wouldve got this off my chest ages ago but the sheer ammount of story telling seemed draining as talking about it makes me feel deflated and sad. It always pops up in my head though, think i just need to get it out
I have just turned 24 and my partner is 23, we have a 3yo together. I have ADHD and was only just diagnosed in January this year. I've been thought of as autistic too by counselors and as I've gotten older and more self aware, it's quite obvious that I am. I don't want a diagnosis for this though as it wouldn't change anything but add limitations due to the stigma and misconceptions surrounding it.
Im a stay at home mum and have been since i finished college at 21. Haveing a child has made symptoms more obvious and I heavily struggle with washing and putting clothes away due to sensory issues and with prioritising tasks, motivation etc Sometimes I can get overhwelemed by the sheer ammount of things to do that I shut down and fall behind. From the outside it can be perceived as laziness, to me I am battling myself and trying my hardest to get through each day. I also have complex ptsd and comes with that is permenant 24.7 depersonilsation which is its own hell, this makes me disconnected and feel dream like. Add on the over stimulation from lights, sounds, socialising etc this gets so bad that I can struggled getting around shopping centres. My brain turns to complete mush. All my issues and this made college HELL for me, I struggled so much and nearly got kicked out multiple times for each college due to awful attendance and falling behind severely. Idk how but I managed to walk away with 2 level 3 qualifications and a level 2. Working would be extremely difficult for me, when lo starts nursery in September I will look for a job but something that is part time and allows me to recuperate.
My partners never helped me, even during lockdown and paternity leave (4m off, lo was a newborn) I was healing from pregnancy (3rd degree stitches inside) and juggling a whole house (moved in 1 day before birth) and baby whilst he played his games everyday till 6am, wakeing up 1pm. I was so sleep deprived I was hallucaitng. He did nappies, I'd have to plead for him to clean a single dish or put his dish in the kitchen, put his wrappers in the bin and not stacking them up next to it, pissing on the floor in toilet. No matter how hard I begged and pleaded for help, he'd stonewall me. Laugh at me with his gamer friends on mic, tell his family I'm physco etc. 0 affection, only when he wants sex. Never a kiss, a touch, nothing.
When he started work, this became set in stone though. These things were no longer arguable, it was my job now. I communicated all the issues with my partner and his gameing addiction to mil because she kept saying that I was being controlling of lo and not allowing my partner the chance to bond, this pissed me off ALOT as I was begging him.. crying at him for help. Anyways as he started work and lo got older, things didn't exactly change but just became the norm. Mil would always bother the shit out of me with unsolicitled advice.. i'm breastfeeding for too long, makeing lo clingy, lo doesn't see her enough despite getting to see her 2x to 3x a week due to being down the road from us, I'm a mean mum for not giveing lo chocolate, I'm lean for not wanting people to smoke near her. Everything I want for my child was somehow me targeting her and stopping her from being a nana. His family members thought that I was controlling of lo because I don't allow mil the chance to bond with her due to no sleepover yet, that i don't allow lo over enough. I didn't give lo bottles to lo? I'm refusing mil the chance to bond. I'm refusing partner the chance to bond too despite makeing bottles for him and him only to give to lo, but him refusing because he's busy. Lo would only sleep if I put her to bed? Apparantly this is my fault, I made her too clingy and gave no one else the chance to do it despite begging partner to and him refusing.
I have openly called partner mentally and fincanially abusive and opened up about it due to the unfair judgments and comments I was receiving. Apparantly the issue lied with MY inability to communicate. (In the holiday my adhd and autism will be used as a means to gaslight in to thinking I'm the bad commutator, despite him being the one that refuses to even achlowledge me) they would always find every excuse under the sun to justify his behaviour because he's their perfect boy, the youngest.
Lo is now 3yo, she goes round to mils every Sunday unless somethings on that day. She still hasn't slept over but I don't see the need for it yet. I've brought up issues with her and stand my ground. Things are more settled, partner still does fuk all in the house but we've found more of a balance. He plays with lo more now and I got to out for the first time to see my friends and go out clubbing, she stayed with him for the whole night and was the first time she went down without me there. (This wasn't always my choice tho)
Mil has pissed me right off, many times.but she has done a lot for us, drove me many times to see my family who are further away. Helped me get back and fourth when my grandad was dying, payed for things for us, got us shopping, drove me shopping etc. I stayed with partner at mil and fils house, I'd catch the college bus from there. And his family are also nice, I just think I've been painted quite negativley which they've gone off. She's not all bad.
The holiday.
It's a large building in the countryside, 12 rooms which fit the 23 people going (7 were kids) it was mil, fil, partners 2 brothers and their partners, mils dad and mum, her brother and his gf, mils 2 sisters and their partners, and 1 of their kids who is a teenager brought their partner. As u come in to the building there's a pub which we stocked so as the day time was comeing to end and kids went to bed, drinking started. I had a drink the first night, didn't the 2nd.
Things were great for the first 2 days. Come the 3rd day and shit went down, it was the day I found out everyones true feelings about me, I've never felt so gaslight and bullied in my entire life (even despite being heavily bullied in school and abused at home).
It was about 9pm & we were all quite drunk at this point. I was less as I stayed sober until lo went to bed which was a lot later than the other kids. Partner doesn't drink so he was stone cold sober. We had to keep going up and checking I lo was alright as we didn't have a monitor and we were on the top floor near lots of stairs.
We were doing kareoke and I was really happy and relaxed. As I walked past partner who was playing darts with his brother (1) (who I need to add, has no kids and is 26 still living with mil) he called me over and told me to go check lo. idk what come over me but I said, no I've done every night of every day of her life. Let me have a break for once. (I have only seen my friends twice in 4yrs due to him being insecure, arguing against me leaving lo etc. Drinking is rare for me so I just wanted to relax and switch off just a bit) Partner didn't say anything, the brother turned round and said "no, I'm sorry but I don't agree with that" I say "what do u mean?" He goes "he works, he gives u a roof over ur head, food on the table. He works everyday to provide for u and lo and what do u bring to the table?" I just stood there for a moment processing what he justt implied and already feeling drained by the idea of if I go "I'm grew and raised lo, i maintain and house and have basicly sacrificed and given up everything to do it" he responds with "so u don't bring anything then? Because u don't do the washing, u never clean the house and being a sahm is a walk in the park to doing his job everyday" I stood there and just walked away.
I went to the bar and sat on the stool, I just felt really hurt especially as my partner just listened and nodded in agreement to everything. Psrtners brother (2) was makeing drinks (he has a 2m old). Mils brothers gf was sat on the stool next to me. I basicly just started crying, I couldnt hold it. I was just sad af. I basiy repeated what brother (1) had said and tried justifying myself and explaining why he's wrong and that despite falling behind on things at times I truly try. It's not fair to say I don't bring anything to the table when I could use the same logic and say be doesn't bring much to the table as a dad, bringing in money doesn't add more value to him and less to me. And was just saying it's always me who is made out to be unappreciative of him, when all I've done is show appreciation whilst he never has and has verbally told me he doesn't. They weren't mean they were trying to stay neutral and not add fuel to the fire which was fine.
Brother (1) gf comes over to see what's going on. I repeat everything i told them and everything else to her. She goes "no no no, I'm gonna stop you right there. I havnt talked to you much and only hear what's going on from other people, I'm gonna tell you straight what I think" She is shouting all of this at me quite aggressively. Me: "okay" im a little confused tho Her: "No. Don't speak, let me finish" Me: "okay" Her: repeats what b1 was saying "WHAT DO U BRING TO THE TABLE, UR ALWAYS COMPLANING ABOUT HIM BUT U DO FUK ALL" Me: "But thats not fair -" Her: "NO LET ME SPEAK, NO, NO,NO" Me: "but what ur saying isn't fair" Her: repeats everything b1 said to me Me: still trying to speak but she keeps saying no over me and saying shut up. Mils brothers gf starts saying to the gf, let her speak (eventually she and everyone listening will tell me that it was me who wouldn't let her speak and was aggressive first) Me: I start raising my voice to try and over power hers in hopes of her hearing me and letting me defend myself. I'm trying to say the same things I said before and hseing the same logic but turned round on partner to try and get them to relise how unfair what they were saying to me was.
Mil comes STORMING in from the other room and starts screaming at me to shut and telling me that I always talk badly about her son when ive had a drink (that's not true. The last time I spoke about him was because he stormed off and ran away from the house because he thought I said something sexual to his brother in a group convo about shoes 🥴. Another time was when one of aunties ASKED me and tried getting gossip out of me. Its not even negative but the truth) Fil comes in and starts on me, partner comes and says I agree with what's being said but u all need to calm down. I'm basicly crying my eyes out and they all keep it going, I'm now repeating that I didn't start it I just felt hurt about what b(1) said to me. Mil hears what he said to me and agrees to, saying u don't appreciate partner.
Eventually she goes and things die down, I'm still really upset. I go outside to vape and get some fresh air, b(1) comes out to talk and said he was out of order but that I don't do enough at home. I ipen up about my struggles with adhd and autism and how what seems nothing to them, is harder for me. I'm trying my hardest and the house isn't even messy at all, its fine I just struggle with washing. We basicly end up chatting about random stuff after and yh.
I go back in and I try talk to b(1) gf who I see is playing pool with the uncles gf. I say can we squash it, play pool with you and be friends? she kicks off and says no, I don't like you and I don't agree with you etc. She starts shouting again, really load. I snap and say FUK YOU Mil STORMS in worse than before and pushes her body against mine, I'm taller so she raised her head and pushes it close to mine. I can feel her breath, she points her finger to me and screams about how I woke her dad up with MY screaming (it wasn't me it was b(1) gf and she knew this) she is still going and I just stare her dead in the eye, my breathing is calm and I didn't move an inch. I was abused physically, mentally and emotionally at home so I started to withdraw. Apparantly everyome thinks I'm being aggressive towards mil now but I'm not reacting. Partner had the audacity to grab me and try and pull ME away from her, I try yanking myself away and say get off me, I've literally done fuk all this whole night and then u pull me away as if im the one being aggressive and instigating?
I go back outside to vape and listen to music because im just sad af at the point, i hide on a bench where it's pitch black and zone out staring at the views and the lights from the towns in the distance. I start getting yelled at, called a wanker, an attention seeker etc. I eventually come in at this point, if anyone spoke to me I'd just ball it. Everyone was calling me selfish for still being awake because I should go to bed and sleep it off. I just needed to be alone and needed the peace and fresh air.
I walk in to the living room and see gf 1 is chatting with partner, twisting something I told her a while ago. I said a guy from college messaged me that I used to fancy, I ignored him but wanted to try and disconnect my Facebook from my partners phone incase he got jealous and funny with me. Even after deleting the message I was still really worried because he is quite jealous, I was worried about gim getting a message notification. She basicly made out that I wanted to meet him up and cheat. She thought my partner should know the secret she had been keeping to herself.. 😐 5mins later she goes to brother (2) and tries touching him and flirting with the mils brother, everyone saw it and spoke about it the day after. But not as much as how apparantly wanted to cheat on partner.
Eventually I went to bed.
The next day I didn't come downstairs, I didn't eat etc. Not because I didn't want food but because I didn't want to see or be round any of them and going to the kitchen meant I had to do that. Mil came to the room and never apologised but stood there saying.. well I don't appreciate partner, he was playing darts with his brother and it was your turn to check lo. I said yes maybe I should've just gone up but I just needed a break in that moment, i wanted to switch off. Maybe I was wrong for saying it but what b(1) said was disgusting. She goes well partner doesn't get to switch off, apparantly him going out multiple times a week to football and spending all his free time after work isn't time to himself but winding down. That its wrong for me to expect him to give me any money for train tickets to see my friends because I need to fund fun things myself. That its wrong to ask my money to do anything and I should just be happy staying at home and going to the same park with lo. Basicly saying all my labour is for everyone else but all his is for himself and he deserves more respect etc. Trying to give me parent advice, how I should change my routine etc how its my fault me and partner don't spend quality time together because I don't give up lo enough. How I'm the reason partner has worries about me going out with friends because I give him reasons to (I never ever have) and uses what the brothers gf said. That if i have these struggles that I just need to go doctor and get fixed because he pulls his weight and I don't pull mine. That I don't listen to people, everyone's tying to help me and I'm stubborn and won't take anyone's advice etc. How I blame partner for all our issues when its also on me and I need to communicate better, despite me being the one begging for a simple no or yes from him.
Everyone is telling me that it was the drinks and I was in the wrong too by saying the things i did. That I started being aggressive and rude to the gf first, everyone who witnessed how she wouldnt let me say even a word and how she was shouting at me first.. all now said it was me.
That I use my adhd and autism as way to get sympathy and justify being lazy, I just heed go the doctors and sort my head out. That I'm the one who comes across really closed off and blunt when all everyone wants to do is help, I push everyone away. That I'm really closed off and don't agree with everyone trying trying insert themselves other people's relationships is wrong, they are an open family and are only trying to help as they don't want to see us break up.
Yh.
They go out and fly kites with the kids, I go down to do it with lo. Afterwards brothers gf comes up to me and says I'm sorry for how I said everything last night, but not for what I said. I snapped and started going in on her. She says I lie about him being abusive and I victimise myself, I use all my issues as an excuse to make people feel sorry for me to get away with doing the bare minimum. That if she ever had kids she'd make sure she was working first and I'm a bad partner for haveing a baby before I sorted myself out. That I shouldn't expect partner to have lo to go out, I expect too much from him because he works and I don't do anything.
Yh no. I snapped back and used the times she faked pregnancies to keep brother 1, the times she would cause chaos because he had friends that were girls on Facebook. How she took phycoclogy yet has the audacity to tell me I'm lying about my issues etc. Her nickname is " physco *name: so whenever she spoke I kept saying it. I went.. its not nice when someone won't let u speak is it? And kept doing it until she left me alone. She went in and screamed to everyone about me, how she came to kindly apologise and I was horrible to her.
When we got home I havnt looked at the family or anyone else since. I didn't put down the things they said in full but it was basicly me stood there as all these people watched in agreement as they went in on me and disrespected me as a mum, a person with mental health issues and just as a bloody human. I hate them all. It was genunaly the worse night of my entire life and the day after was just as bad. The way everyone was gaslighting me and trying to get in my head twist things. It's all my pushed under the rug because its just a bad night of drinking. It wasn't just a bad night, not only did they show their true colors and thoughts about me but full on targeted me.
I would love to move and be a single mum, but I can't drive in a place that requires me to do so to get the jobs. (Bus routes are bad where I am) I feel utterly trapped. I'd need a low stimulating job too. It's just shit. With the adhd and the fact I require changes to my enviroment to function but can't get out or have money to do anything, I feel like I'm drowning in expectations, judggyness, chaos, and the same rooms and closing in on me and I fe suffocated. I don't want to feel this way, I feel like I just have pain and hurt knocking me down all through my life. If I could get on a plane and live alone with lo, find a job suitable for what I can keep up with I would. I feel like it's completley out of my reach though and Im stuck.
Btw if anyone actually read all this, damn 🤣 I just really needed to get it all off my chest weather it be heard by anyone or not.

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This is an open community for all former current or future employees. Though this is for every aspect of working at Kroger it is more targeted for those from Deli and Bakery. I created this for those who feel like me overwhelmed, stressed and frustrated with their experiences. So they can reach out to other who might been through it or going through the same thing and to help each other.
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